Cabbage Soup

Is your pandemic bulking phase coming to an end?

Now is the time to drop a few thirty pounds for bikini season. For your reading and culinary “pleasure,” here is the infamous cabbage soup recipe from the fad you’ve all heard about, the Cabbage Soup Diet.

The Cabbage Soup diet was wielded against unwanted pounds by flabby women in their 40’s in the 1970’s and 1980’s with great success. And now, for a limited time only, the Cabbage Soup Diet can now be utilized post-pandemic for all of your self-deprecating dietary needs.

It’s not tasty, it’s not great, but it sure beats fasting.


ingredient amount measurement
3 cups nonfat vegetable broth
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 cups chopped cabbage
1⁄2 whole yellow onion
1⁄2 cup chopped carrot
1⁄2 teaspoon basil
1⁄2 teaspoon oregano
to taste x salt & pepper

Here are things that she says you can add, but I never have this stuff, and I hate zuccini.

ingredient amount measurement
1⁄2 cup green beans
1⁄2 cup chopped zucchini


I’m too lazy to write my own instructions, so here is someone else’s.

Just to recap, if you’re feeling like you need to drop a few pounds, or you’re feeling like the top one percent owns everything on God’s green earth including all of the edible food, you’ll be relieved to know that the Cabbage Soup Diet has also been used during the Great Depression by your Grandma and/or Great Grandma.

Relive the #GreatDepression, by eating #CabbageSoup. #Restrict your calories like the #ProAnna solopsistic asshole that you are with this easy-to-follow recipe[^8] for #CabbageSoup. Not to worry, this soup has so few calories, you won’t even have to throw it up afterwards.

Bon Appetit

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